because today is the very last day.

[ordine]

We'll allow you to be in Class VII under the guise of someone being brought in to be an example for the other students. I'll trust that you'll watch over those children and, at the same time, look for signs of Rean Schwarzer being one of the key members of the Imperial Liberation Front.

"Man, they're always giving me the hard jobs. Slave drivers, all of 'em!"

But, that didn't matter now. Rean was here at the academy, sleeping among the members of Class VII, keeping to himself and looking for Crow at every opportunity. It wasn't like Crow hadn't seen him around once or twice, having caught a glimpse of him when Rean was running around delivering student notebooks with all the enthusiasm as a workaholic, but...

(The rot has already begun to settle. He can feel it somewhere deep inside of him, scalding hot and dark as it coils around his heart. His inner beast sings for its kin, for Rean, and it's slightly frustrating how empty he realizes that he was without him.)

He was treading some very fine ground. Both Sara and the Principal believed him when he said he had nothing to do with them anymore other than the occasional check-in to make sure everyone was alive, but with Rean here it was like everything was either going to get really intense or really catastrophic. Or maybe it'll be both? I really hope I'm worrying for nothing.

The door to the classroom swung open with a simple push and he breathed in real deep, mustering up a fearless smile as he walked inside and settled in front of the class between the students and Instructor Sara, all the mirth in the world in his eyes even as they scanned the starstruck faces of his new classmates searching for the one he was looking for.

"So, a little birdie told me you all needed a good role model for the next two years and I was gracious enough to accept. Starting today, I'll be a member of Class VII with all you fine folks-- hope you guys don't mind. It's gonna be pretty sweet! ♪"

Comments

HE HAS NO GUILT, NO SHAME

[ordine]

"Damn, you are mad," Crow breathed out, righting the tremble of his draft pile from the force of Rean's hand slamming on his desk. He set his coffee down once Rean closed the door, picking this time as the right time to open both his eyes and his ears to Rean's problems.

(Just like he always does. Always. Everything about Crow would always be open for Rean.)

Except for the fact that Crow wasn't expecting to hear those words out of Rean's mouth. Crow swore Scarlet to absolutely secrecy about that particular subject and the fact that she still ended up telling Rean made something in his chest burn - faintly, before being snuffed out by Crow's easy acceptance of the situation. So, we're going to have this talk after all.

Crow smiled calm and collected and said, "Tell me something, Rean: why would I ever tell you something like that?"

[rean]

"Do you think I'm happy to know the reason you wanted to throw away your goals was me?" Rean didn't answer, of course. He knew, in Crow's mind, there wasn't a reason for him to tell Rean anything. He was always so infuriating like this, going off on his own, coming up with plans and leaving out the important parts because he thought his subordinates didn't need that kind of information. Well, maybe they did. Maybe they didn't want Crow taking on more than he probably should, even if he was the best combatant the Front had, bar none.

"You could have at least talked to me. Told me why you thought that way. And I would've told you why you shouldn't leave. Why I still think you deserve to have answers for the wrongs this country did to you."

[ordine]

"I could've talked to you. You would've told me something like that, and I would've carried on as angry as I was when I started," Crow started, a sneer building up in his tone before he was able to calm it down and shake his head, "and you would've continued spiraling away from a family you loved, falling into all of the violence that was indefinitely down the road.

"How could I do that to you?"

He wasn't asking Rean. It remained a rhetorical question, one he was always asking himself: how could he have brought Rean, so innocent and blindingly pure, in to something so twisted and complicated? Crow was in the dark and he needed to find a way out without dragging Rean through the mud. Sometimes he still thought he was there, that he was already dead, that none of what happened between he and Rean, he and anyone, actually mattered.

Closing his eyes, Crow raised a hand to pass it over his face, before he asked, "What does it matter now, anyway? I'm back, aren't I? That's what you all wanted so bad." So bad that you would blindly allow these people to use you against me.

He was back, only in physical form. His heart was with Rean, his body with the Imperial Liberation Front, and his thoughts were split between those two things and just about every damn thing else that Crow was juggling in his mind.

[rean]

"It was my choice to follow you. I knew what kind of life I'd be living and I chose it nonetheless. I didn't follow you blindly, Crow, so you shouldn't have to feel like you're responsible for 'corrupting' me." Rean followed him because he wanted to, because he cared for him, and because even if some of the things the Front did were against his beliefs, he thought he could help find a better way. He couldn't stop them from fighting, from performing acts of terrorism, but he could help them - help Crow - find the fastest way to their goals. That was what he thought back then.

"And even before I met you, I'd thought of distancing myself from my family-- You didn't have to tell Elise were I was." Crow would know since he had been up there, eavesdropping on Elise and him, but Rean reminded Crow anyway. He wasn't a noble, and the Schwarzers were better off without him anyway.

[ordine]

"I did have to tell Elise where you were... I mean, it was obvious you weren't going to man up and do it. Rean, your family loves you. It doesn't matter that you're not a noble." And he smiled again, frown turning upside down, soft and true. "I never required any of the members of the Imperial Liberation Front to distance themselves from their families - if they still had any family left, they were free to come and go as they pleased. You wanted an excuse to get away because you thought your presence hurt them when it was the exact opposite."

Crow could understand where Rean was coming from. Taking Rean in hurt the Schwarzers in the eyes of other nobles, but the Schwarzers aren't normal nobles. They couldn't have cared less about that because to them, Rean was their real child regardless of the lack of shared blood between them. Class VII's trip to Ymir before the festival just reaffirmed that fact in Crow's mind even more.

They were so happy to see Rean and Crow just felt so unflinchingly guilty. Even now, with that hurt guilt leaking into his tone even the smallest amount, Crow feels guilty for so many things that he's done.

"But I'm sure that deep down, you already knew that. I don't doubt that you did want to follow me and that you still do, but..." But, he trailed off, not willing to finish what he said.

It was unacceptable. Crow just couldn't stop hurting the people he loved.

[rean]

Crow's aim was impeccable, Rean knew, and those words of his just now hit him right where it hurt: There was no denying how much his family loved him, even if they weren't related by blood and even if they were looked down upon by other nobles for taking in a commoner like him. He looked away, to regroup. He wasn't just going to take that and concede.

"You don't have to be the only one doing all of this, I wanted to be with you. Still want to be with you..." He blushed a little, remembering something from a certain festival event. "...To be comrades with you at the Front again. Don't hide things like that from me again, Crow. Please."

[ordine]

It took Crow a second to register the fact that Rean was blushing, but when he did his expression naturally took on a teasing smile and shine, his mouth forming the words and opening to voice it before he even gave it permission, "I want to be with you, too, in all sorts of different ways and positions. ♥"

And then he closed his trap and very nearly bit his own tongue because now was not the time for sexual innuendos and teasing his poor little boy...friend? Old habits were hard to tear himself away from and teasing Rean just came so naturally that he couldn't help himself.

After clearing his throat, he waved his hand in the air vaguely and moved away from the desk. "For however long this lasts," he paused only to walk around his desk and over to Rean, raising a hand to ruffle Rean's hair in a touch that was way more tame than any lover would've given their significant other, "I look forward to working with you again."

Of course he wouldn't promise Rean never to hide something like that from him again. Crow was already planning things out with people all around Erebonia to tears his own organization apart and nothing that Duke Cayenne does could even begin to stop it. But, for now, he could pretend that everything was fine and that he wasn't planning on leaving again once everything was over.

[rean]

Rean wanted to flinch away from Crow's hand in his hair, to at least show how he wasn't compliant to all of this. He knew he didn't quite get Crow to see things his way; Crow was stubborn like him. But he, admittedly, liked that simple gesture. It was familiar and reminded him of their earlier time in the Front, when Crow's whole life was for building up the Front into something that could take the Erebonian on equal ground.

"I don't just want to work with you again, Crow. I want you to be honest with me too. No more lies. I'm your comrade, too. Your... friend."

[ordine]

"Haha," Crow laughed, cold, but crystal clear and clipped as he took his hand back and turned away from Rean with the intention of returning to his drafts to end this charade.

He understood how a cat felt having its fur rubbed the wrong way now except it felt like someone scraped their claws over his heart and his head and was still in the process of tearing them to shreds. The throb in his head returned full force, but he kept on talking, looking over his shoulder with a smile that froze over.

How could Crow ever be honest with Rean?

"If you seriously want some honesty, you can have some: the Chancellor is still alive, still calling me, still trying to pry into my life and make a little hole for himself like he belongs there. Meanwhile, I have Duke Cayenne and Rufus Albarea on my back with you, Vulcan, Gideon, and Scarlet close behind. Do you really think I can be completely honest with anyone right given how tense the situation is?"

Even though right now he needed someone he could absolutely trust without a doubt to hear him out and keep his secrets close to their heart and to themselves, Crow wasn't convinced he had a good list of candidates. With the odds piled up against him he had no choice but to trudge on alone.

It was all that he had anymore.

[rean]

Rean froze a little at the mention of the Chancellor. He wasn't sure if he was bothered by the fact that he'd botched the sniping job, or by the reminder that he'd tried to kill someone while they were defenseless. He pushed those thoughts at the back of his mind and focused on Crow's question instead.

"You can trust me, Crow." He thought about throwing a little barb with that. "I don't really make it a habit to tattle on someone to someone they're actively trying to avoid, for one."

[ordine]

"I can trust the person who tried to bring me back to this place even though they knew I didn't wanna come back?" He sniped a barb in of his own, feeling his sass overpowering the ice in his tone. Rean sounded like the Chancellor and while it drove Crow nuts, he completely understood.

...which just drove him more nuts. Crow's already on his way back to his seat behind the desk and his cold coffee, fully moving forward as if he were walking away from Rean instead of just moving away to sit down, still a little bothered by Rean's earlier choice of words.

Crow just couldn't trust his friends like that. He never trusted anyone back at Thors with his past, Principal and Instructors aside - and they never once stabbed him in the back, never once used it against him - so there was no way it was gonna happen here with his comrades. What Crow had on his mind was better saved to tell someone closer than a friend, so Crow tried a different approach, schooling his tone and expression into something relaxed and calm.

"It's true that it's all pretty stressful, but I can handle it. I'm fine, Rean; it's not like I haven't done all of this before."

[rean]

Rean looked down, thinking of all sorts of rebuttal to that but finding nothing that would make Crow's words any less right. He wanted to say how much he wanted Crow to find justice vengeance but knew just how self-serving that would sound. In some ways, Rean's reasons for finding Crow and bringing him back to the Front... were probably his own. His desire to be at his side again. He wasn't sure he wanted Crow to know that.

"Then what can I do to make it less stressful. I know it's been a while, but I'm here to help. I've had my fair share of trying your work while you were away."

[ordine]

"Hmmm..." He hummed, making a show of pretending to think about what the heck Rean could do to make Crow's life less stressful - going home to Ymir, going back to Class VII, overall making his presence less prominent in a place where Crow could reach out and put his arms around him - before throwing his gaze up towards the ceiling. "Nope, sorry. Can't think of anything you could do for me."

(Which is a flat-out, but playful lie.)

Crow was already smiling soon after though, waving a hand over at Rean. "Or maybe there is something you could do. Come over here for sec!"

[rean]

Of course, Rean was perfectly willing to do whatever it was Crow thought could help him, but he clamped down on that eagerness. Because, well, he didn't know what it was Crow wanted. Even if he was perfectly willing to help, Crow could play a prank on him too... Though, he'd probably end up agreeing to a prank, anyway, to be honest. If it would help Crow...

"What is it...?"

[ordine]

"Good boy."

It was the only thing he breathed before surging up from his seat and taking Rean's face in between his hands so he could kiss him hard and fast, without any warning or build up. It wasn't an unkind kiss, but it wasn't as chaste as the one he gave Rean during the festival either because it's an open mouth kiss with the soft, quick flick of tongue, and absolutely no room for Rean to do anything back because Crow was pulling away as quickly as he came.

His fingers are more tame, sliding up into Rean's hair and brushing through it just once before Crow removes himself from Rean's personal space.

"...I can't believe you're so dense," he said as he stroked a thumb over Rean's lips as if he were trying to wipe away any evidence of having kissed Rean, tone light and friendly.

[rean]

"W-what...?"

Rean managed to say after a few moments of, well, surprise. There it was again, another kiss, and this time that was definitely a lot more intimate than their last one. ("Their last one.") Was it a prank? But no, that was...

"I'm... not," he retorted, but with very little gusto. He could piece out things like this just fine, he thought, just that the bigger picture he was getting was hard to take in.

[ordine]

"Yes, you are. You're the most dense, hard-headed person I've met in my entire life and I'm the idiot who fell in love with you anyway." But Crow's voice was soft and kind, gentle despite the barb in his words. "Honestly, I'm so stupid."

He decided to give Rean something to do anyway while it sunk in (as Crow himself wallowed in his own self-pity), a smile on his face again as he put his hands on his hips. It was a task he'd filed away for later coming to the forefront of his mind as he completely changes the subject and sweeps it under the rug.

"Here's what you can do for me: go tell Valimar and Ordine to quit making so much noise in the hanger. I keep getting complaints from the techs and I don't wanna hear it anymore. Ordine knows better, but I guess the addition of another God Knight is enough to make him a little more chipper. ♪ When you're done, come on back and I'll give you something else to do, alright?"

Even though it was obviously just a way for them to both escape this situation and never talk or think about it again, Crow was determined to take his heart back from Rean even if meant ripping it two before he could reclaim it.

[rean]

Frankly, after a revelation like that, going down to the hangar to deal with some overly-talkative God Knights was the last thing on Rean's mind. "Say that again, Crow.... 'Fell in love with'?" He took a deep breath and held back the rest of his thoughts. He had a few sarcasm-tinged questions to follow that up -- this was Crow he was talking to, after all, and Crow liked to play around with his words, or outright joke -- but his instincts told him to lay off on that.

He could already hear Crow repeating how he was dense, but what was wrong with clarifying things? Especially something like this?

[ordine]

"What part of it is so hard for you to understand? Do you think I just go around kissing people and telling people that I'm in love with them for the hell of it? Do I seriously have to spell it out?"

It was poison all meant to push Rean away, lips thinned and expression completely serious. If he had to spell it out to get Rean out of this room and scare him away, then so be it.

"I'm in love with you. Seriousy, Rean. I don't mean in the friend-way either, but in the 'I want to hold you and kiss you and be with you for the rest of my life' way. I want to sleep with you in the not-friend-way and fall asleep with you in my arms. ...I want to wake up with you still right there beside me."

It was desperation, he realized. He was desperate for Rean to at least understand, even if he didn't feel the same way; even if Crow didn't think he could treasure Rean properly, being handled so carelessly by Rean ground his gears so hard that he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Do you get it now? How I feel about you isn't how a friend feels for another friend." So if you get it, just hurry up and leave.

[rean]

Rean was silent as he listened to everything Crow had to say. Love. So Crow really was in love with him. It was... a relief? Rean wasn't sure how to describe the light feeling in his chest but he knew it wasn't bad at all.

"I get it," Rean said finally, taking a deep breath before he did so. Everything Scarlet told him made much more sense, though now, and with this piece of information, Rean realized what he did to try and bring Crow back was a tad unfair. "I..."

But did he love Crow back? Rean knew, easily, how much he wanted to be by Crow's side no matter what. But was that as a comrade or... something else?

After a brief pause, he decided to see for himself. It was the only way. He stepped forward and grabbed Crow by his collar, to try and kiss him again. Their first kiss was all but a memory now - and fleeting -, their second happened so fast it had taken Rean completely by surprise, but this one Rean was sure he'd be able to get a better idea of his feelings after...

[ordine]

Okay, so Rean finally got it. If he still didn't understand, Crow would've had to resort to just shooing him away, but he was glad that it didn't come to that.

Rean's next move, however, had Crow grasping for metaphorical straws in the air around them. Who in their right mind said that they understood, then trailed off, and pulled a guy into a kiss? (Rean, evidently, and Aidios be damned if Crow didn't like it.)

What the--

Momentarily raising his hands to claim his own innocence, Crow took a moment to process that Rean did indeed grab him and pull him in for a third kiss. It was things like this that could drive Crow off an edge and into an ocean for the sake of love, but Crow's confusion made it difficult for him to enjoy it. It could've been a last kiss type of deal or a positive reaction to his confession - not that he was expecting anything at all, of course - but Crow slowly moved an arm around Rean's waist and raised his other hand to skim his fingers featherlight against his jaw.

Accepting Rean's kiss and kissing him back wasn't a difficult thing to do and it made something in his chest feel a little tight, but ultimately sweet. It was a pain he didn't really mind.

[rean]

Closing his eyes and relaxing into that kiss, Rean was thankful for Crow picking up from where he started and kissing him back. He didn't know how, exactly, to kiss but with Crow guiding him with his tongue, holding him close like he did, he could not worry about leading.

Instead, he could focus on asking himself how this all was for him. And the answer he found was that.... well.

He liked it. Crow was a good kisser. And if he had to be kissing anyone, he didn't mind if it was Crow at all.

He wasn't sure if that was love but it must be close to it.

[ordine]

Enough. Enough.

Crow's mind was working in overdrive trying to tell him to stop, but Crow was already passing his tongue over Rean's and moving his head back only to lean back in and deepen the kiss. He knew it was enough, knew he had to stop eventually, but with Rean (finally) in his arms he wasn't willing to stop just yet. Rean was warm and soft and having him in close proximity made Crow feel like he could just shake all of the stress from his shoulders even if the feeling of Rean's mouth on his was addicting.

He knew what love was and he knew what lust was. He knew that he'd been pining for a while, and he knew that seeing Rean with anyone who even so much as dropped a hint of being interested in him was enough to incite an ugly feeling in Crow's gut. In the end, he knew his limits as well as Rean's, and he would always step aside if Rean felt like he was in love with someone else.

Rean was incredibly dense, but he was also self-aware. He wasn't stupid.

(Crow was stupid-- is stupid, will always be stupid, will always bend until he breaks and want until there's nothing left, only to want more.)

He would kiss Rean as long as he wanted him to, but he pulled away eventually with a soft noise as their lips parted, thumbs gently rubbing circles against the skin over the line of Rean's pants where Crow snuck his hands under Rean's clothes for a moment. It was a small, innocent touch, tame and open as Crow stepped back away from Rean and sighed.

"Enough," he said, eyes closing briefly so Crow could regain his bearings. "I'm not complaining! I think I'm dreaming because this is way too nice to happen to me, but I'll bite: what was that for?"

[rean]

Rean took a short moment to catch his breath and that was when the full weight of what he'd just done hit him. Feeling his cheeks heat up, he looked away just slightly. Not too much. He didn't want to seem like he was retreating; if anything, this was something he wanted to face head on.

"I wanted to see what it would feel like to kiss you again," he admitted quietly.

[ordine]

"I see," Crow acknowledged before smiling and moving his hands away from Rean's person. Too much temptation... "Did you find what you were looking for, then? I wouldn't mind kissing you a couple more times if you need some more samples. ♥"

(Not that he planned on letting Rean answer.)

While he took his hands away, he brought them back only to press his fingertips against Rean's jaw and urge his face back towards his, leaning over to press his lips against Rean's forehead, the dip and tip of his nose, passing over the lines of both his cheeks, feeling more playful than he has since he came back to the Imperial Liberation Front.

"So?"